Surprise!!

Okay, it's time to let this ginormous cat out of the bag and allow the truth to be known beyond the confines of my family and 3 current roommates..........  

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I'm going on a mission!!!

        Welcome to the elite club of those who know I'm going to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!!  (The 4 people max. who will actually read what I blabber occasionally).  My papers are officially turned in and I'm just waiting for that big, white envelope to peek out of our excessively over-stuffed mailbox.  Yes, and that is why I've been getting pinched, poked, and prodded by medical people with long, scary, poison-filled needles and why I traded in my Amish Buggy-license for a UT drivers-license.  I've only just begun telling people and only if it comes up.  I don't go around advertising it (it's just not my style)...not until now that is.    
        I didn't want people to know of my decision until I was perfectly sure this is what I wanted to do.  I wanted to be able to convince people that this is what is right for me and I didn't want people to talk me out of it or ask me questions that I myself couldn't even answer yet.  Also, I didn't want to take any thunder away from my brother who's known all his life that he's wanted to serve a mission and has begun the process himself.  This was his time to shine...now he'll have to share the limelight.  

        A mission is not one of those things that I've thought about/planned for/dreamed about my entire life; I just felt about it.  Last month I decided that I should at least think about a mission.  Then, as I did so, things started falling into place almost effortlessly.  Finances smoothed themselves out, and my thoughts were constantly on service and the gospel.  Then came the real test - asking if it was right.  That's when I KNEW this is what I was ready to do and WANTED to do.  And so the process began and was completed without a hitch.
        Growing up, my mom always said that Sister Missionaries are the greatest women in the church.  I never counted myself among their ranks.  I saw their strength and my weakness; their dedication and my fear; their testimony and my profound Ensign quotes.  Even today I don't see how I can be one of the "greatest".  All I know is that I'm me and Heavenly Father will fill in my weaknesses with someone else's strengths.  I'll have the skills necessary when they are needed.  I'll have the words when my mind runs a blank.

        I'm going to teach the world the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'll testify of its truthfulness. My preparation, or lack thereof, can either make or break the Spirit in the lessons. It is my responsibility to be the instrument of the Lord, to convey the words and principles He wants His children to know to them. It is such a daunting task, but then I say a prayer in my heart that I can teach how and what He wants me to, and the opening prayer asks for a blessing upon me and I know that even though they don't know me, they're going to have their heart open and be listening and that both of our prayers will be answered and I will have help.  I love teaching and I know that I have been blessed with the ability to communicate and be a good teacher, and especially as I make good choices in my life. But that doesn't mean that I don't need the practice of teaching God's message to His children. And it most certainly does mean that I need to use those talents and live up to that completely daunting and overwhelming potential and responsibility I have, because EVERY SINGLE ONE of our Heavenly Father's children needs the gospel. They need to hear it and feel of His love for them.
        I am so excited and so scared to death (but mostly excited) and I can't wait. And although I feel like I am the least qualified and eloquent and adequate person to be sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with the world, I know that He will be with me, helping me, giving me the power of His Spirit. And I know that He is helping to prepare me now, with the abilities, knowledge, confidence, and love that I will need to bring His truth to the rest of God's children.