Where's My Zone?!!? Give It Back!!

I've realized why I haven't been myself lately - I'm out of my comfort zone. I'm not familiar with my environment (even though I grew up here) and I don't have something to do every minute of the day and it's got me scared. Not the "I'm afraid of heights" scared, but another kind of scared that's hard to explain. I love being home, don't get me wrong, but I feel out of place and foreign. I don't know how things work or where things are. I couldn't even get in the front door because my family had gotten a keypad lock so my key wouldn't work and I was locked out. I miss having young people around me all hours of the day and always having something to do whether it's homework or sightseeing. I miss the noise - having only 1 other sibling who gets home late and sleeps in even later is a foreign environment from my early-rising roommates who make lots of noise. I miss having a wide variety of personalities to interact with and learn from. I've learned a lot of new things recently and it's changed my personality a lot but coming back here I think I may shrink back into my shell again. Most of all, I miss independence. I like being able to explore and learn without having to report my doings every minute and make sure that I have my cellphone with me at all times. The freedom I had from not having my cell in London was glorious (other than emergencies when it would've been nice to have one). I could go anywhere and do anything without worrying that my phone would go off or I'd miss something because I was texting. This summer I'll be working and rejuvenating sot that'll be a start, but everything in between is odd. I'm living at home and that's my base. No longer do I come home to an apartment with 5 roommates who had completely different days than me and activities that are always different than planned. I especially miss having someone willing to listen when I'm out of sorts. Being the only girl, I've learned to keep my emotions to myself and sort my mind out alone. Having amazing roommates has taught me to express my mind and hurts to others which makes me feel better. Without that close-knit circle I feel odd. I was having a particularly rough day yesterday and all I wanted was space and someone to listen, genuinely care, and help me figure out why I was down - all I got was a pesky brother who made the day even worse. I couldn't wait till it was time to sleep the bad day away and start again. These may just be ramblings, but I miss my zone and I want it back!!!!!