Somehow and for some reason my fear has been conquered - my fear of being the center of attention that is. Since coming back to PA I've become a lot more open and willing to put myself out there without fear of getting hurt, embarrassed or judged. I'm me and I'm not afraid for others to see that. I volunteer for things and I bear my testimony in public. In Sunday School I voice my thoughts instead of just writing them down for myself. Those are big things for me and this is truly a summer of change. This Sunday I just decided to bear my testimony - in front of my entirely too large for comfort ward - and I kind of liked it. I probably made no sense, but I'm proud of the fact that I put myself out there. Maybe the fact that I was wearing red had something to do with it - the color of bravery. I was asked to play the piano for our institute my first week (comprised of three stakes and is held 2hrs away in Harrisburg) and I did it without being afraid. This whole year has been about change and sticking my neck out to people and putting my heart on the line, and I don't know why but I don't mind anymore. Call me crazy! I think the time has come to put the Worry Stone on the shelf....at least for now."Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself...And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."
That's great Anne! I know you said you don't know what brought about this change, but do you have a guess? I think self evaluation can be VERY useful.
ReplyDeleteI think the independence I had in London, being so far away from home and not being able to contact people via phone, made a big difference. And, I've just had A LOT of downtime to evaluate where I'm at and where I want to be.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Don't forget about the blessings that come from putting yourself on the line and taking chances, both directly and indirectly.
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