#AMLHappinessIs
Last year, I somehow started using "Happiness Is.." for posts/thoughts/photos/moments that just made my whole self smile. It has stuck!! I even have a hashtag (my first and only one) to document all those things that fill me with true joy.
"Each has his heart's wishes shut in him like the leaves of a book, known to him by heart, and his friends can only read the cover." -Virginia Woolf
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
When You Wish Upon a Star...
David O. McKay said, "'How may I know when I am in love?' That is a very important question...in the presence of the girl you truly love you do not feel to grovel; in her presence you do not attempt to take advantage of her; in her presence you feel that you would like to be everything that a great man should become, for she will inspire you to that idea. And I ask you young women to cherish that same guide. What does he inspire in you?"
I have to try out things! I can't close off my heart to the possibility of love. Honestly, I'm afraid of it. I don't know what it feels like and I'm scared. I've always dreamed I'll feel bubbles in my heart and fireworks in my stomach but, I'm realizing now that I might just have a peaceful feeling and then I'll know. Love will take effort and I will have to open up. John D. Claybaugh said, "Some people expect the Lord to provide a dramatic revelation about their eternal mate, but what usually happens is that we drop our defenses and communicate with a potential spouse, we experience subtle, ongoing spiritual promptings about the relationship. Inspiration can come only when we are honest with ourselves, our potential mates, and the Lord." ("Dating: A Time to Become Best Friends," Ensign, April 1994)
I recently read a wonderful book about the Mormon dating scene called Base Hits and Home Run Relationships. Every chapter discussed things that single Mormon girls wish guys knew, relating it to a baseball game (gets me every time), and I started thinking about and listing what I wish and hope the man I will marry knows about dating (and life).
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1. Don't stop living the Priesthood, even for a moment
I want to look to you for priesthood leadership. You won’t have time to quickly repent and suddenly make yourself worthy when someone in our family needs a blessing. Be ready ALL of the time! Every time you go home-teaching, bless/pass the sacrament, help someone move, give a blessing, perform ordinances, or complete any other quorum assignment, you are showing the Lord that He can count on you. A good woman wants to know that she can count on you, too. I'm betting my future, and even my eternity, on you.
I recently read a wonderful book about the Mormon dating scene called Base Hits and Home Run Relationships. Every chapter discussed things that single Mormon girls wish guys knew, relating it to a baseball game (gets me every time), and I started thinking about and listing what I wish and hope the man I will marry knows about dating (and life).
---
1. Don't stop living the Priesthood, even for a moment
I want to look to you for priesthood leadership. You won’t have time to quickly repent and suddenly make yourself worthy when someone in our family needs a blessing. Be ready ALL of the time! Every time you go home-teaching, bless/pass the sacrament, help someone move, give a blessing, perform ordinances, or complete any other quorum assignment, you are showing the Lord that He can count on you. A good woman wants to know that she can count on you, too. I'm betting my future, and even my eternity, on you.
2. Be a gentleman
Be courteous to cashiers, servers, janitors, EVERYONE. Your wife is watching and looking to see what kind of father you will be, based on how you treat children. I'm looking to see what kind of leader you will be, based on how you treat those lesser than you. I'm looking to see what kind of man you are, based on how you treat everyone - family or not. The priesthood is a gift that teaches men how to be gentleman by helping them see how to look outside themselves. Are you selfish or selfless in the way you interact with anyone you encounter or do you make excuses as to why you didn't help? Do you perform acts of kindness for the people in your family now? I am a big dreamer whose views on love have been shaped by the pages and reels I've been exposed to (the good old-fashioned stuff) - - I don't have the experience with it, but I know what I expect in a gentleman.
3. Stay focused on our goal
We're going to have hard days - bad days, long days, sad days, boring days, and even impossible days. Please don't give up on our goal of eternity...don't give up on me. Help us make changes within our relationship to make it even better. Help us keep going! If things get hard, I won't give up; I don't know how to. But, I will always drop anything to run and help, sometimes neglecting other things. Let me help you. Let me know what your dreams are. Together, let's set essential goals and make them happen.
4. Be there
Be there. Be consistent. I've taken one too many of those "what style of Love are you" quizzes to know that I see and feel love through quality time. I want to feel that you are there for me no matter what. Help me to know that you love me -- tell me, and make me say it back. Show that you care through everything you do. Help me know that together we can raise our family to be kind, courteous, and wise. Make time for us. Make time for that moment when plans change and we can't do what we wanted to do. Make time for our family. Make me push aside my stubborn independence to allow you to help. Make me remember that I am enough for you. I'm used to being on my own and handling things by myself. I grew up being completely satisfied with quiet and playing on my own. I learned so many different skills and abilities so that I can take care of just about any need I have -- fixing/diagnosing cars, basic home repairs, first aid, finances, etc. I know that I need others, but I don't want to inconvenience anyone by asking for help. I don't want to add burden to your hard day at the office by making you take the trash out. Help me see that you are there. Help me let go of projects so we can work together on our heavenly home. Don't let me forget to kiss you goodbye as you leave for work, or to talk to you right as you come home. It doesn't matter so much what exactly you say or do, but it's the thought behind those words or actions that will determine whether or not we've "struck out in the game of love."
5. Keep things in order and in place
Put Heavenly Father first, ALWAYS!! Please see how the rest of your life should fit together and live by that order. Don't postpone friendships for money. Don't push off essentials in favor or want-to-haves. Don't forget our relationship because you don't have the time for fun. Don't let our family go to bed without kneeling together in prayer. When you're at work, be at work and do your best there so you can come home feeling like you've done your best...and so you can focus on us when you get home. When you're home, be here with me. Leave time for fun, even if the lawn doesn't get mowed or the laundry isn't quite folded. Do you make sure to call your mom every so often? Do you send your sister a text reminding her to have a good day? Do you pray for your friend who's struggling? Do you take a detour to work just so you can drive by the temple and remember the covenants you made there? Do you make time for those things that are most important to eternity?
6. It doesn't have to be extravagant
I don't want fancy. I don't need bling. I don't crave over-the-top. Just spend time with me. Let's go for a walk down the same road everyday just so we can be together. Let's sit and laugh through the same movie for the millionth time just because it's our favorite. Roll your eyes at my sappy music and laugh at my cooing over mushy movies. Grab my dishwater-wrinkled hand and let's dance around the kitchen until we're dizzy. Take us on a drive with no destination so we can talk everything out. I don't need the huge house with the newest gadgets or decorations. I don't want the best of the best to show off. I only want what we can build together. I don't want the big and fancy, I want the real and worthwhile.
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My tree of love has a lot of bruises and chipped bark. My branches are mere twigs with sprouts and I don't know how to prune out or graft in, but I know where The Gardener is and how to access the blessings only He can give. I know that He has given me the experiences that I needed in order for me to become the under-gardener he wants me to be. I haven't had someone come into my garden and stay long enough to see what my trees have to offer.
Spencer W. Kimball said, "The successful marriage depends in large measure upon the preparation made in approaching it...One cannot pick the ripe, rich, luscious fruit from a tree that was never planted, nurtured, nor pruned".
I don't know what you are doing or where you are right now, but I want you to know that I'm becoming the best that I can be and I only expect the best that you can give.
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Let's Get...Vulnerable
I don't yet know how to let my guard down. I want to but I just can't. When someone comes into my life, I am more than ready to do anything for them. I'll rearrange my schedule and drop tasks, at a moment's notice, in order to help or make time for another person but I always struggle letting someone in to my heart. I haven't had too many people WANT to be there and I'm hesitant to leave those doors wide open.
Those that have made it into my heart and have seen my tender packets of dreams are those who have shown at all times that they love me. They love my silly dreams, crazy ideas, and unique goals. They gently hold the threads that lead to my heartbreaks and have woven them to ribbons that sparkle with understanding and are lined with their support. They never let go, even if I let the path back go cold.
Those that have made it into my heart and have seen my tender packets of dreams are those who have shown at all times that they love me. They love my silly dreams, crazy ideas, and unique goals. They gently hold the threads that lead to my heartbreaks and have woven them to ribbons that sparkle with understanding and are lined with their support. They never let go, even if I let the path back go cold.
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